Graeme Alexander MULLIGAN
I would ask that we all stand for “God Save the Queen”. He made me have it at my wedding so I thought we should have it here today.
……no just kidding!
Firstly, some context.
On New Year’s Eve, 1873, James Mulligan (Dad’s grandfather) and his sister Margaret, siblings in a family of 11 children, arrived in New Zealand from a small farm in Ballyhaise, County Cavan, Ireland. Their arrival was to be in Dunedin but the captain of the boat, The Surat, was having too merry a time and took his course too close to the Catlins coast where they ran aground near Owaka, at a place now called Surat Bay. James and Margaret lost everything except a feather pillow that Margaret was carrying.
This family history was always very important to Dad and as kids Reece and I were lucky to have the connection to the past via the diary James wrote of his journey to NZ, and the letters from James’ father, Frances in Ireland, making sure they thanked everyone who had helped them. One of the values instilled in our family over time.
Time moved on and James married and had a large family in today’s terms. Dad’s father, Alexander Simpson Mulligan (Sandy) was the 5th of 9 children.
Further tragedy was to hit this family when James was involved in accident and died in his early 40s [actually about 53 - Ed]. His wife Agnes had not long given birth to a daughter and was so devastated that she really did not recover and died 2 years later, leaving the 2 eldest boys aged 21 and 22yrs to bring up the family. The letters they wrote to family showed the bond that linked them all together, and one expressed their thanks and appreciation to relations in Auckland for “taking a girl” to look after. The family determination and tenacity kept them all going and achieving in life. Dad’s father was about 15yr old when he moved from Dunedin with his elder brother, who had work in Invercargill. There he met the beautiful milliner Agnes Ivy Brown and they fell in love.
Again it was not to be plain sailing as the 1st World War started and Sandy, along with many other young men with a close link to the “home country” and a sense of adventure, was compelled to enlist, and went to Gallipoli at the age of 22yr, leaving “his girl” behind.
Perhaps Sandy had an appreciation for what his father had written in his diary, because Sandy then wrote a diary himself, of his experiences as a stretcher bearer at war. Again, we are privileged to have this link to the essence of the man who was Dad’s father, through his own words. The letters to and from Ivy, her sisters and other family showed the love they all shared and the connection of their families. Precious treasures. One of Dad’s cousins has put the transcript of the diary online for future generations to read.
Ivy waited 4 years for Sandy to come home and thankfully he did return, a hero to boot, earning a DCM and a MM for his bravery in retrieving soldiers from the front line under fire.
Sandy and Ivy had a great love and Graeme, or Gumps as Ivy called him, was lavished with that love too, especially as his only brother died before Dad could know him. Trips to Bluff and Riverton for picnics with his Aunts and Uncles and pet dog “Smutty” were especially fun.
Growing up in McMaster St, Graeme had a close friend, Keith Ashley who lived over the road, and they have always kept in touch until just a few weeks ago, when sadly Keith passed away. A friendship of at least 80yrs.
Graeme played hockey for Southland, played side drum in the SBHS and Jellicoe Sea Scouts bands, and represented Southland in swimming. This love of sport has continued on in the family and Reece and I went to Murihiku Swimming Club on Friday nights from 5yrs on, continuing with Dad as our competitive coach until our teens and Reece into his 20s. The grandsons were also all involved in swimming club, and now his great granddaughters, Ada and Billie, at around 2yrs old are showing a definite love for water.
Of course, the values of caring and giving to the family and community have been very important to Dad, and he has always been very involved in everything he has done. While in Jaycees he fundraised for charities such as Crippled Children, as it was then, and organised the Miss Southland competition for a number of years. The Jaycees conferences and balls he was involved with organising, always seemed so glamorous to me with Mum in a new ball gown and Dad in his suit and tie. You must always dress for an occasion. These organisational skills were put to good practice in his work as a Dental Technician and Life Insurance Agent. St Johns and St Georges church committees also benefited, and latterly the Invercargill Probus group with social events and outings.
This group also prepared Dad for correct meeting procedure, which anyone who has been on a committee with him will know, must be adhered to in order to ensure things were discussed in a thorough but organised manner and come to a consensus decision.
Swimming club trips to the Telopea club in Canberra, Australia were huge, with fundraising bottle drives, paper drives and swede drives. Yes, we pulled swedes from frozen paddocks on a Saturday morning, bagged and sold them for funds for the swimming club. But what rewards we got for our hard, sometimes not so pleasant work, when we got to travel to Australia! Me as a 12yr old. Another lesson from Graeme.
Some of you will know early morning coaching sessions at Conon St Baths, with the program neatly written out each day and logbooks written over time. Whatever Graeme did, he researched and prepared for. He read the “Science of Swimming” by Bob Council cover to cover for better technique. Reece and I went on to teach for the club and Dad’s encouragement, support and of course, standards, were always in our minds. The attention to detail and preparations resulted in his coaching sessions, business, events and occasions all running smoothly.
Preparation for our much- loved camping holidays to Glendhu Bay involved many ingenious inventions too, with every year bringing out some new improvement to the camp site. An underground fridge with polystyrene sheets inside that stayed buried until the next years visit, the fireplace and grate to heat big cans of water for washing and dishes. The new chemical toilet had a specially made scrim screen for privacy and a wire and pipe toilet roll holder. Stands for under the trailer so the kids from all around could sit and play on it without it tipping up. The hand whittled seat that hooked onto the rope swing from the tree. Even the wooden steps on the willow trees so we could climb the trunks more easily, still remain at Glendhu by the site we have camped at since 1963. Grandson Ryan will especially remember Grandad raising the flagpole for the flag Grandma made from a tea towel for his willow tree “pirate ship”. Those traits, inherited by Reece, are evident now with neat labels, clean tools fit for purpose and many ingenious wardrobes, shelves, hooks and gadgets made from repurposed objects. Dad would have made a great process engineer like his grandson Andrew, perhaps that is where he gets it from. He would have loved Lean Processing with a place for everything and everything in its place. Even if that is a file in the filing cabinet labelled “Lawyer” that has a note in it saying “Wills filed under Wills. That’s not a surprise!” showing his sense of humour. Then there is the box in the rafters of the garage or the hall cupboard that are labelled “Empty Box”!
Well didn’t we have fun growing up with Graeme! One Easter we went to Dunedin and woke in the tourist flat to find a note with a rhyming clue about where we should go next. After going all over the camp we finally found a stash of Easter eggs. Mum found another one the other day that sent us around the View St section to eventually find a new bike in the shed.
These notes had a quirky humour that we saw in Dad while listening to the radio when the comedy shows were on, like Just a Minute, with Kenneth Williams and Frankie Howard, The Goons with Spike Milligan (I’m sure he is related), Peter Sellars and Harry Secombe. It was not a surprise he became a fan of Faulty Towers, Monty Python, the Two Ronnies and Open All Hours. Some of the quirkiness came through in performances of skits at church concerts and conferences too, when Graeme would dress up and put on a show. The dress up box is still in Reece’s garage with an assortment of pirate costumes that Ivy made, the odd wig and discarded shoes and clothes to make up an outfit for any themed party, as even our friend’s kids have found out. We all still love a good dress up party.
Of course, I can’t talk about Graeme without mentioning the most important person in his life, Marie. They met at a Masonic dance when Marie was 19yrs old and he was never to leave her side after that. Mind you, what a catch this gorgeous, fashionable, artistic, brown eyed girl was! And he was a handsome, if slightly skinny, slightly older, motorbike riding young man that knew the values of family, a strong work ethic, tenacity, dedication, humour and of course love. Dad’s birthday and Christmas cards to Mum always had a little message that hinted at a private moment or joke that they had together, but also conveyed their deep love for each other. I remember them going to their god daughter, Maxine Boyer’s wedding. Mum had a periwinkle blue satin dress and jacket that fitted like a glove. She did look stunning and when Dad came home, he said the bride looked beautiful “but your mother stole the show in that dress!” He knew how to charm a lady! And his daughter.
Reece and I have both met loving, loyal, supportive and fun partners who reflect the traits of our father and mother, and we are so lucky to have the example of their loving relationship. Our children, whom Dad adored, have had the same from their grandparents, and in turn, their children will learn the same as time goes on.
So, working with, volunteering with, being coached by, being friends with, growing up with, and being loved by Graeme, has been a privilege.
RIP Graeme with all our love.